Category: Television

Chase Sapphire presents A Divorce, Act I

So, let me get this straight. This dude wants to go on an amazing vacation with his wife. It looks like he’s got a romantic getaway in mind. He’s got all these plans. He wants to go somewhere exotic. They’ll have a great time. And he’s going to use their credit card reward points to take care of everything. What a guy.

Sounds perfect … if his wife didn’t already use of all those points on a dress. For herself. All of those points. One single dress. It cost as much as a vacation. And she didn’t even talk to her husband about the purchase.

This prompts possibly the least realistic reaction in the history of advertising, which is saying something. The husband simply smiles. And the commercial ends.

Now, I know, she looks like she’s out of his league. And if that’s the case, he might be willing to give in on just about anything. But remember, this is television. From where I’m sitting (in a chair), almost every guy on television is with a woman who’s out of his league. Example: Every CBS sitcom. So that means nothing.

I asked my wife what she would do, if I chose to buy myself one item, instead of spending that same money (or those same credit card points) on an unforgettable vacation with her. I said, “You probably wouldn’t talk to me for a week.”

She said, “More like a month.” And she wasn’t kidding.

Go blind, Price

It’s never too late to fix anything. Just remember that the next time you’re watching “The Price Is Right.”

I speak, of course, about the flawed bidding process to get up on stage with Bob…er, Drew. How many times have you been watching “Price,” and the last contestant bids … one dollar higher than the previous highest bid. And often, that bid wins. Sure, it’s smart – they’re playing the system – but every time, I find myself thinking the same thing. “That’s a jerk move. At least bid $50 higher. C’mon!”

The bidding process gives an advantage to the person who’s been waiting the longest. I get that. The show doesn’t want to strand the same sad contestant on the floor for an hour. But why should contestants gain any kind of advantage in a competition of skill, when their very participation in the game was luck-based? It’s not fair.

(I know, life’s not fair. But this isn’t life. It’s a game show. This can be controlled.)

The thing that kills me about the whole situation is that the fix is so obvious. Blind bidding. Every contestant bids at once. “Jeopardy!” figured this out long ago.

Not only would blind bidding be fairer than the current process, it’d be more suspenseful. And you’d get crazy, ridiculous bids from clueless contestants. Who doesn’t want to see more of that?

(For those of you who thought this post would be a written wish to rob Mark Price of his vision, sorry to disappoint.)