Phil Dzikiy …is a writer.

23Feb/103

Winter Olympics Haiku

Alpine Skiing

Beauty comes from speed
Love watching the intervals
The falls are brutal

Ice Dancing

Sadly literal —
it's like pairs figure skating
with added boredom.

Snowboard Cross

This one should be great.
Lead changes, crashes and more...
...oh, really? That's it?

Moguls

Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump
Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, JUMP
Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump

Halfpipe

Really, one question:
Is Shaun White competing now?
When he's up, tell me.

Skicross

It's more exciting
than its snowboarding brother.
Still disappointing.

Figure Skating

It's too subjective.
That is always a problem.
...Well, at least for me.

Aerials

Yeah, it's subjective.
But all those twists and flips, man!
Plus, it's short and sweet.

Biathlon

Skiing and shooting
The nuclear winter sport
It makes sense to me

Bobsled

Two-man — I get it.
Four-man? Those middle two folks
push, and not much else.

Cross-Country Skiing

They don't stop to shoot
Hills, turns, sprints — no rest at all
A grueling ordeal

Hockey

No surprises here —
I watch it most of the year.
...No-touch icing rocks.

Luge

Clearly dangerous.
And doubles? Two dudes, one sled:
unnecessary.

Skeleton

The forward luge
Sounds crazy, but makes more sense
Just think about it

Short Track

Drama, speed, crashes —
if it was on more often,
I would not complain.

Curling

It's on all the time
Much screaming while the stones slide
Strangely addictive

Ski Jumping

How does one become
involved with a sport like this?
Scandinavia!

Speed skating

It's the boxing to
the short track's mixed martial arts.
Older, but wiser.

Nordic combined

By air and by land.
No love for water skiing?
I get it. Too cold.

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