Week 17 of the NFL regular season: Makin’ it right
The NFL has a problem. The last two weeks of its regular season are often rather ... lacking. Too many teams don't care about winning. When your season only has 17 weeks, and one or two of them are almost unwatchable, well, that's a problem.
This is not another debate about What The Colts Did. It's not about whether or not they should have gone for the undefeated season. I understand why they rested players. Everyone understands the reasoning. This is about giving the Colts, and other teams in the same situation, a reason to want to win the last game of the season. And for that matter, it's also about giving 2-13 teams a reason to win.
I realize I'm a little late to this party, considering the playoffs have started, and everyone's forgotten about this by now, but hear me out. There's been some discussion about this. Roger Goodell alluded to doing something with draft picks. The Commish basically said, and I'm paraphrasing, that teams need to be rewarded for trying to win, but they can't be punished for not trying to win.
My idea may not be a complete solution to the problem, but it certainly won't hurt matters. It's not drastic, either. No draft pick rewards, no sanctions or penalties. Nothing like that.
Week 17 should be "NFL Rivalry Week." Every team should play a divisional game in the final week of the season. It could rotate between teams each season. That's it. That's the whole idea.
Now, although the Texans might not care to beat the Jaguars when neither team has a reason to win, this won't be true for all teams. Send New England to Miami in Week 17. Bring Dallas to DC. Let the Steelers battle the Ravens or the Browns. Some teams, perhaps most of them, are too proud to lose divisional games. This happened in 2003, when Baltimore beat Pittsburgh in a hard-fought overtime game, 13-10. The Ravens had already sewn up the division. Their seed was set. Yet, they played their starters, and won.
(Sure, maybe that grueling win took too much out of the Ravens, and it might have been a factor in their playoff loss against Tennessee the next week. But that's not the point here. The Ravens tried to win. That's the point.)
This would also give us another ready-made argument: "Team A doesn't want to beat their divisional foe? Have they no pride? How can they expect to win in the playoffs? Where's the killer instinct?" (Not like we need any more of those discussions.)
So there we are. It's not a perfect solution, but it's an improvement. I'm not sure a perfect solution exists in this case.
So, Jim Zorn…
He was stripped of his play calling duties in mid-October. The man who replaced him in the role was enjoying retirement and calling bingo games before taking over. The man who originally relieved Zorn of said play calling duties? Resigned. A new GM was hired. It's also been reported that Mike Shanahan is now discussing the head coaching position with the 'Skins.
And yet, Zorn remains.
The 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers: A eulogy
Today, as we come here to bury our beloved 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers, it is undeniable that we are all feeling very, very emotional. I wish it didn't have to come so early, but here we are.
This year's Steeler team died as it lived: On the edge. Yes, ol' 2009 certainly had a flair for the dramatic, the rapscallion. But as we must know, sometimes, drama turns to tragedy.
But enough! Let us remember the good times! Large Ben, and his marvelous ways! The way Mr. Mendenhall showed himself worthy! Hines, still doing his work — a gentleman and a scholar! Harrison and Wood, so strong, so tough! Young Mike Wallace, willing to thrill us! The trip to Denver! Good times! It was all going so well! Righteous Troy, you left us too soon!
Of course, friends, under these circumstances, it's impossible to ignore the death. Yea verily, it was painful, and drawn out. This team did not die quickly, as if suffering a playoff loss. They endured a long, excruciating descent. We didn't want it to happen, but what could we do? We were powerless. Please, do not blame yourselves.
That being said, we should have seen the warning signs. A few peculiarities in Chicago and Cincinnati aside, the Kansas City trip was certainly off-putting, to say the least. The team was stricken late, once again. We should have known something wasn't right.
For the Baltimore game, we had an excuse at the ready: Dennis was in! But again, a close call. And again, these Steelers were ailing at the end.
Then, there was Oakland. Oh, Lord, must I mention Oakland? I must. Friends, you either believe in omens or you don't. But when Young Joe Burnett dropped that ball — its path so true and direct — that's when I knew it was over. I didn't want to say anything, but deep down, I knew. Maybe we all did. Though Joe Burnett was young, this team was old. It was tired. It wasn't ready to climb the summit once more.
And yet, we didn't think they were gone! We were only fooling ourselves. In the end — Cleveland, of all places! — all the various sicknesses made their way out at once. That's how it often happens, you know.
The leaky offensive line. The wide receivers who couldn't get open (perhaps those routes were too long). The quarterback who wouldn't throw the ball. The defense, that which couldn't stop predictable running plays — where art thou, Mighty Aaron Smith? — and the secondary ... oh, the secondary. The less we say about them, the better. The way Sir Ike Taylor played that 3rd-and-long ... it breaks your heart to think of it.
And what of the offensive play calling? Once respectable enough, it too often recalled the behavior of a drunken apothecary ... even, dare I say, of a village idiot. Did Mr. Arians care, in the end? Or did he not just know any better? What of Father LeBeau? He can't catch interceptions or tackle, can he? All this must wear mightily on Mayor Tomlin, who must learn from these grievances. He must, and must adjust.
This would not be a team like its 2005 brethren, who came back, all the way back, from the edge of the grave, to reach immortality! No, this team was more like its cursed 2006 siblings, with its bizarre and unfortunate twists of fate.
To "unleash Hell?" One can only hope that's where this 2009 team hasn't gone. We will wait for hope to spring again, next autumn. It is a blessing that these Steelers will be granted another life in the future, as they are every year. Let us not forget that.
As for now? We can only say ... let's go Pens. Amen.
Very filling. Tastes great.
The long-awaited Hines Ward/Max Talbot commercial for City of Champions Crunch Cereal is finally here. And it's got production values that make Talbot's A&L Motor Sales commercials look like James Cameron films. Let's go to the videotape.
Watch the short lady over Talbot's left shoulder at the five second mark ... did she just stifle a burp? Watch closely. Unbelievable.
So, about that “Super Bowl hangover” …
Yeah. Haha. It'll feel better if you laugh about it. But I understand you might just have to trust me on this.