Of all the hair salon puns out there — and there are so, so many — nothing quite does it for me like the “shear” puns. Driving around today, I saw Shear Madness. Is the existence of a “shear” pun enough to inspire confidence in visiting such an establishment? It must be. Otherwise, why would anyone get their hair cut at a salon promoting itself as “madness?” You could walk out with a swiss cheese cut. That’s when you just shave bald spots on somebody’s head. And if that’s not an actual thing, it certainly could be.
I also remember going to a place called Shears Excellence a few times when I was younger. I don’t know what the extra “s” was for. I guess they were sticklers for properly representing their equipment.
Here are more ideas for “shear” salons. I’m sure some of these already exist. I do not care.
We’re here, we’re Shear, get used to it!
A Shear in the Headlights
The Gang’s All Sheared!
The Tracks of my Shears
The Shears of a Clown
Shears on my Pillow (A creepy salon that would specialize in cutting your hair while you slept.)
Shot and a Shear
Shears Roebuck and Co.
Horton Shears a You (Proprietor’s last name being Horton.)
Billy Shears (Proprietor’s first name being Billy … no pun necessary.)
Shears to you, Mrs. Robinson
Shearly, You Can’t Be Serious
Oed’ und leer das Shear
Happy New Shear
Shear and Present Danger
Hairy Shearer (My personal favorite.)