Pizza punked out on the precipice of prestige

You almost did it, DiGiorno. For a few seconds there, it looked like your newest commercial would actually feature that advertising rarity — a man outsmarting a woman. Not only that — a husband outsmarting his wife. That hasn’t been seen in years. Maybe decades. You go, DiGiorno!

But you just couldn’t do it, could you? You weren’t strong enough. The man was too dumb to hide the box. Of course he was. He’s just a dopey ol’ dude. We can’t help ourselves.

Weak sauce, DiGiorno. In more ways than one.