My Top 100 Albums of the Decade (30-21)
30. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow (2003)
"Called to see if your back was still aligned, and your sheets were growing grass, all on the corners of your bed"
Chutes Too Narrow is quite the rarity — even though it's easily the best of the three Shins albums, it's become the forgotten one. Garden State came out in 2004, which means that songs from Oh, Inverted World became more popular after the release of Chutes Too Narrow. The next album, Wincing the Night Away, benefited from anticipation. Chutes Too Narrow doesn't have the highs and lows of those other albums — it's one long, impressive high. The Shins don't need lo-fi to be relevant, as this concise collection showed. After this album, it would be more about the songs than the sound.
The Shins - "Kissing the Lipless"
29. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive (2008)
"Back then, it was unified: The punks, the skins, the greaser guys. Then one summer, two kids died. And one of them was crucified. Now it's so competitive: The sleeplessness and sedatives. I know it sounds repetitive. Every show can't be a benefit."
Every Hold Steady album feels like part of one long story, even if a harpsichord enters the mix ("One for the Cutters") on Stay Positive. Just listen to the title track, which is essentially a rowdy callback to the last three albums. A song for the fans, from a fan band if there ever was one. The good thing is, it's never too late to become a fan. So sure, the middle of this album can lag a bit at times, but the ends of this album are so undeniably strong (as are the hidden tracks on the limited edition CD) that we'll forgive 'em. Why wouldn't we?
The Hold Steady - "Stay Positive"
28. Super Furry Animals - Hey Venus! (2007)
"Baby ... baby ... baby ... baby ate my eightball"
It's as if the Furries took a gigantic album and distilled it down to its absolute catchiest pieces. After the first few listens, I thought it felt slight and forgettable. I could have written it off after that, especially considering the prior disappointment of Love Kraft, and the merely good (not typically SFA great) Phantom Power. But the earworms in Hey Venus! grew and grew, until they were too big to remove.
Super Furry Animals - "Run-Away"
27. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes (2008)
"I was following the pack all swallowed in their coats, with scarves of red tied 'round their throats, to keep their little heads from fallin' in the snow, and I turned 'round and there you go, and Michael, you would fall, and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime"
Those lyrics represent the entirety of "White Winter Hymnal." Fleet Foxes were the hyped band of the moment when this album was released. Which is peculiar (but refreshing), because this album was built on gorgeous harmonies and lush instrumentation — it sounds like a forgotten collection of folk classics. Nothing about it really screams, or even says, hype. Though Robin Pecknold's voice can soar with the best of them, as a whole, this album is an assured, soothing whisper.
Fleet Foxes - "White Winter Hymnal"
26. eels - Blinking Lights and Other Revelations (2005)
"My kind of love is an ugly love, but it's real and it lasts a long, long time"
They rarely make 'em like this anymore. A long, ambitious double album. Loosely, a concept album about one human life — the idea is basic, but it allows for complete freedom in topics and styles. The themes here — family, God, love, birth and death — are universal. One could argue that theoretically, every album could be a concept album about life — the concept is too big. But an album that starts with the lyrics "Ten pounds and a head of hair, came into without a care," and ends with a song called "Things the Grandchildren Should Know"seems fairly clear in its intentions. Like any life — or any double album — some parts meander and some parts you might not like. But you might be surprised how much you do enjoy. For me, it's nearly everything.
eels - "Railroad Man" (live)
25. Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare (2007)
"You used to get it in your fishnets, now you only get it in your night dress, discarded all the naughty nights for niceness, landed in a very common crisis"
A few of the Monkeys' biggest hits on the group's debut were fun Franz Ferdinand-esque jaunts, like "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor." But that never felt like the real Monkeys to me. The true Arctic Monkeys made their mark on the back end of that album, and continued it here. The sound is fuller and more substantial. It's heavier and darker, but still packing the pop chops to pull off a song like "Flourescent Adolescent." The kids are alright.
Arctic Monkeys - "Flourescent Adolescent"
24. The Strokes - Room on Fire (2003)
"I want to be forgotten, and I don't want to be reminded"
Do we really need another Strokes album? First Impressions of Earth was no great shakes, and plenty of time has passed since then. Julian Casablancas went and made a fine record on his own. Plenty of great bands have produced no more than one great album — getting two from the Strokes seems just fine to me. As a relevant entity, the band fits quite neatly in the early part of the decade. There's no need for greed.
And yes, this is a great album, with plenty of the band's best songs. My personal favorites being the irresistible "What Ever Happened?" and "Under Control." Who knew the band could be so ... smooth?
The Strokes - "Reptilia"
23. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells (2001)
"Fell in love with a girl, I fell in love once and almost completely"
Speaking of Is This It, this album was nearly as influential. Now, the Stripes are one of the biggest bands around, but shortly after White Blood Cells came out, I asked for the album at a college town record store and drew only a blank stare, then a question. "Who did you say they were again?"
The clerk probably hadn't heard the charming "Hotel Yorba" or the massive "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground." And he definitely hadn't heard "Fell in Love with a Girl," which is everything rock 'n' roll should be. It shoots out of the speakers, straight into your heart. If you haven't heard it in a while, have a listen. It's lost none of its power, and it probably never will.
The White Stripes - "Fell in Love with a Girl"
22. Stephen Malkmus - Stephen Malkmus (2001)
"Promise me, you will always be, too awake to be famous, too wired to be safe"
After leaving the best band of the 1990s, Malkmus really didn't have anything to prove. And so, he just had fun on his solo debut. Pavement fans already knew how great Malkmus was with a melody, but it's easier to hear on this album, as the songs come all polished and glistening, swirling around subjects like Yul Brynner and Cabin Boy.
Stephen Malkmus - "Jo Jo's Jacket"
21. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Hearts of Oak (2003)
"And the French Foreign Legion, you know they did their best — but I never believed in T.E. Lawrence, so how the hell could I believe in Beau Geste?"
"Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?" is an ode to ska, and in particular, The Specials, but it's also a wake-up call: Remember good music? What happened to it? Why don't people make it anymore?
So, Leo does his part to will it back into being. He's always been a dynamo, but this second Pharmacists album hits the most high marks. There's a passion here that never lets up, but the first half of Hearts of Oak is what really floors you. As great as "Rude Boys" is, after a few spins, I had trouble picking a favorite song on this disc. I still do.
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - "Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?"
Cleveland Rocks!
I'm not talking about this Cleveland:
I'm talkin' about Grover!
You're trying, but no, not quite. Let's just say the guy I'm talking about DOES have the first name of a Muppet, but also, the last name of a large American city!
(Sigh) ... No, not Kermit Washington.
Grover Cleveland! The only president to serve two non-consecutive terms! This guy!
Living in Buffalo, you get to know a lot about Grover Cleveland ... OK, that's not really true. You learn that he was once Buffalo's mayor, if you're lucky. And then you start thinking about other, more important presidents.
But wait! It's too early to leave the Cleve! Don't believe me? Here's a list of Grover Cleveland Facts.* Consider your curiosity piqued.
- Not only was Cleveland president and mayor of Buffalo, he was also Erie County Sheriff and Governor of New York.
- Grover Cleveland's first name was Stephen, but nobody called him that, because "he didn't look like a Stephen."
- While campaigning for president the first time around, it was reported that Cleveland illegitimately fathered a child years before. Cleveland didn't know whether or not he was truly the father of Maria Halpin's child — paternity tests weren't up to today's Maury-level standards, and well, Halpin really got around — but he took responsibility for the child. And lest you think politics were cleaner back then, Cleveland's detractors came up with a classy slogan: "Ma, Ma, where's my Pa?"
- Cleveland was 47 when he took office, and 48 when he married. His first lady — Frances Folsom — was 21, and, by all accounts, a comely lass. "Grover Got Game" was a common headline of the times.
- Why did Cleveland lose his re-election bid to Benjamin Harrison, of all people? Well, the democrat did win the popular vote, but he lost the electoral battle. There were reports and claims of voter fraud in one state. Plus, he lost his home state. And that's how Al Gore Grover Cleveland lost the election.
- While Harrison sat in the Oval Office, Cleveland kept busy. He released the mega-selling Be Prez or Die Tryin' pamphlet. Cleveland also started a powerful political trio with Adlai Stevenson and John M. Palmer. They called themselves Grover United, but the name would eventually be shortened to G-Unit.
- No one west of the Mississippi had ever seen a mustache before Grover Cleveland made the upper lip hair fashionable. Western folk called the facial hair a "Grover's Beard" until they were corrected by a traveling Easterner named Mustache McGee.
- Cleveland only sought the presidency again in 1892 because he did everything two times. He ate two breakfasts each morning. He showered twice daily. He brushed his teeth twice a day. (On this matter, he was a visionary.) He even said everything twice. That's how he earned the nickname "Grover Two Times," before he took office again.
"I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers"
* Not all of these facts are completely true. But some most certainly are. How can one discover the honest truth? Why, independent research on Grover Cleveland, of course!
You can thank me later!
Hadoken, Shoryuken
I first encountered Street Fighter II at a Pittsburgh-area Chi-Chi's in the early 90s. I got sick later that night. I never ate at Chi-Chi's again, though it's possible my queasy stomach was caused by the sudden absence of Street Fighter II in my life once more, rather than the food at ol' Double C.
No, it was definitely the food. I'm just lucky I gave up the chain's cuisine years before another Pittsburgh-area Chi-Chi's — the Chi-Chi's closest to my home — made a whole bunch of people sick. That would be the eventual death knell for Chi-Chi's.
In another bit of luck, the onset of sopapilla-related sickness was the second-most memorable event of that night.
I watched as some older kid played the game. "Street Fighter II." (When and how did I miss "Street Fighter?") The characters were large. The animation was awesome. Fireballs and kicks were flying. Half of the time, I wasn't even sure what was happening. But I definitely wanted in.
The kid left. The machine was mine. I found a few quarters and there, in all its glory, was the character select screen.
Yes, that alone was reason for excitement. Not too many games back in the day would let you pick your character. And there were eight choices. Eight! Being a kid, I started with Blanka.
A quick guide to who picks which Street Fighter II characters:
Blanka - Kids playing for the first time. People who like monsters.
Ryu - People who don't know how to move the cursor on the character select screen. People who like to win.
Ken - Jingoists who like to win. Fair-haired folk.
Guile - War veterans. People who prefer moving their left thumb in straight lines.
Dhalsim - People who just found out that his limbs could stretch across the screen, thinking this would give them a tremendous advantage.
Zangief - Wrestling fans. Bear admirers. Commies.
Chun-Li - Girls. Secure guys who like to win.
E. Honda - Nobody.
I may have won a fight or two that night. I don't remember. I just know that I wanted more.
I never bought Street Fighter II for Super Nintendo, but I rented it and played it for two sick days straight. (You could say sickness and Street Fighter go together, but I always played video games when I was sick. I spent one sick day playing Ranma 1/2: Hard Battle for hours.)
The first sick day, my brother Mark was also sick. Seeing as how this had never happened before, and would probably never happen again, we took advantage of our time, playing Street Fighter II all day. He went back to school the next day. I went back to battle M. Bison. And I battled him. Oh, did I battle that blank-eyed freak. Every time it looked like victory was in sight, he would whip out a Psycho Crusher or two, and that dastardly slide kick.
My nonna had never seen me so angry before. She pleaded with me. "It's only a game!"
Maybe it was. But the sense of satisfaction that came from eventually defeating the caped warlord probably restored my health.
I didn't buy Street Fighter II, though, because at that point, I was waiting for Street Fighter II Turbo. I wanted to control Balrog, Vega, Sagat, and most of all, M. Bison. I dropped $70 on Street Fighter II Turbo the day it came out. Yep. $70. You kids don't know how good you have it. But it was $70 well-spent. Street Fighter II Turbo is still my favorite version of Street Fighter, even if E. Honda went from utterly useless to nearly unstoppable, due to the fact that he could now move while doing his Hundred Hand Slap.
By this point, Mortal Kombat was taking hold of America's youth. And though I didn't know it at the time, the Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter debate was teaching life lessons — about falling for the hot new thing, following crowds, and appreciating true quality. It was a classic case of style vs. substance ... no, I can't even say that. It was more like flash vs. substance.
Mortal Kombat had its flash — fatalities, which were very, very cool. The only problem being, you had to slog through a Mortal Kombat match before reaching the point where a fatality could take place. And when that moment arrived, you only had a few seconds to seize the opportunity.
Every kid knew fatalities were the reason for Mortal Kombat's success. Sure, the blood was cool, but it was merely accoutrement. The fatalities were the pièce de résistance. Some of us wondered why more fighting games didn't have fatalities. (To this day, I wonder. It's a great idea that doesn't interrupt the flow of the fight.)
Tons of kids thought Street Fighter was obsolete as soon as those blood drops start flying. But Street Fighter II was the better game. Some of us still knew that, even if Liu Kang did turn into a dragon and bite off the top half of his opponent.
Street Fighter II always would be the better game. Time would prove us right. Today, ask any honorable gamer how to throw a Hadoken. Or a Sonic Boom. Then, ask him or her how to do Kano's Heart Grab fatality.
Game over.
Week 17 of the NFL regular season: Makin’ it right
The NFL has a problem. The last two weeks of its regular season are often rather ... lacking. Too many teams don't care about winning. When your season only has 17 weeks, and one or two of them are almost unwatchable, well, that's a problem.
This is not another debate about What The Colts Did. It's not about whether or not they should have gone for the undefeated season. I understand why they rested players. Everyone understands the reasoning. This is about giving the Colts, and other teams in the same situation, a reason to want to win the last game of the season. And for that matter, it's also about giving 2-13 teams a reason to win.
I realize I'm a little late to this party, considering the playoffs have started, and everyone's forgotten about this by now, but hear me out. There's been some discussion about this. Roger Goodell alluded to doing something with draft picks. The Commish basically said, and I'm paraphrasing, that teams need to be rewarded for trying to win, but they can't be punished for not trying to win.
My idea may not be a complete solution to the problem, but it certainly won't hurt matters. It's not drastic, either. No draft pick rewards, no sanctions or penalties. Nothing like that.
Week 17 should be "NFL Rivalry Week." Every team should play a divisional game in the final week of the season. It could rotate between teams each season. That's it. That's the whole idea.
Now, although the Texans might not care to beat the Jaguars when neither team has a reason to win, this won't be true for all teams. Send New England to Miami in Week 17. Bring Dallas to DC. Let the Steelers battle the Ravens or the Browns. Some teams, perhaps most of them, are too proud to lose divisional games. This happened in 2003, when Baltimore beat Pittsburgh in a hard-fought overtime game, 13-10. The Ravens had already sewn up the division. Their seed was set. Yet, they played their starters, and won.
(Sure, maybe that grueling win took too much out of the Ravens, and it might have been a factor in their playoff loss against Tennessee the next week. But that's not the point here. The Ravens tried to win. That's the point.)
This would also give us another ready-made argument: "Team A doesn't want to beat their divisional foe? Have they no pride? How can they expect to win in the playoffs? Where's the killer instinct?" (Not like we need any more of those discussions.)
So there we are. It's not a perfect solution, but it's an improvement. I'm not sure a perfect solution exists in this case.